


A New Story - s7 fix-it fic

by rhode (Phoxxi)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack Fic, F/F, Gen, I have only watched s1 when it came out so fuck if i know what is happening in that shit show, I was gonna start watching vld again when shiro came and im so happy i didnt, M/M, Multi, because I would immediately have dropped it again lol, but i know where wasnt enough gay so i present you with this, god s7 was fucked up and my wonderful gf was devastated by it so i wrote this fic for her, i hope you all smile from it because im nearly late for work writing this, me as the gif: im going to give the gays everything they want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoxxi/pseuds/rhode
Summary: A fix-it fic of Voltron s7 by someone who hasn't watched since s1 and doesn't know what's happening in the show but wants to cheer up their distraught gf because what went down was highly fucked up :)fyi: this is gay so beware





	A New Story - s7 fix-it fic

**Author's Note:**

> this is what originally was going to happen before they scrapped it. 100% I'm not lying, my uncle works at ‘Voltron Incorporated: where the dream works’ and he told me himself.

It was a quiet day on the castle, which apparently might not actually exist anymore in the show but I don't really know what happened so I'm gonna say it's still there? Everyone that was sleeping in their rooms are not important cuz they're not gay so they don't have a place in my fic, so begone straights *sprays repellant*.

Lance woke up from his beautiful slumber because he was thirsty as fuck, both gayly and literally. He got up from his bed and trudged down the hallways towards the kitchen to get some of that good ol’ water to quench his bi ass when he suddenly heard voices in the common room area that's sorta like a living room,, the one with the circle couch if I remember correctly?? If there isn't one, then I'mma just say there's a living room now because I'm God now.

“Shiro…. I need you to help me be gay as fuck.” Keith's voice drifted to Lance's ears and caused him to stop dead right by the door. Lance already knew he didn't need anymore context to stay and eavesdrop because they already said his favorite word, ' _gay_ ’.

“Keith, you're plenty of gay already. I know I'm the master of being gay as fuck because I'm the only canon rep, but that doesn't mean you can't flourish too dude.” Shiro said sympathetic. “It took me a bit to come out and accept my true colors. And those colors are the rainbow,, since gay. So I believe you have it in you to reach that top tier.”

Keith dabs in response. “You're right.”

Lance starts shaking, because not only did he just found out that Keith is gay but also that he _**D A B B E D**_. Which is a feat onto itself since Lance is the only one that gets paid by the producers per dab, so that means Keith just actually likes dabbing, so that means him and Keith are soulmates and meant to be together because that's how that shit works.

Shiro raises an eyebrow, “Why are you suddenly asking though?”

“Well,” Keith started. “You and Adam are super cute together and I saw how your relationship was pretty solid and I thought you would be good to ask since you're the token gay.”

Shiro chuckled and smiled, “Yeah, Adam and I have definitely made amends and got back together after I made sure to Snapchat and Instagram our entire adventure to him since I have a phone. He sent a comment on my 'punching Zarkon in the face’ pic saying 'yeet that fucker into the sun baby’.” Shiro got dreamy eye already thinking of Adam. “Gosh I'm so happy I switch phone providers so I have constant talk, text and video across the universe. It definitely helps when I need to save the universe.”

Keith's eyebrows shot up, “Oh… what plan is it?”

Shiro winked as he started to advertise, “It's called GayToGay, for day to day use. It's by gays, for gays and you have to be LGBT to even be able to SEE the physical store. They make sure not to fuck you in the ass like all the straight competitors, unless you ask the too, of course.” He gives out another wink.

Keith nodded approvingly, “Hm… I'll have to switch then.”

A sudden ding from Shiro's sudden side pocket made them stop suddenly. He pulled out his phone and a smile beamed onto his face. “It's Adam!!” He cheered.

Shiro unlocked his screen and saw that Adam was facetiming him. “Hi honey!! I love and miss you!!! It's totally wonderful to see you healthy and alive!! I'm so happy that God made you immortal since you physically cannot die and it's illegal in the universe for anyone to try to kill you!! :D”

Adam winked on screen. “I love you too baby, and I know right, I'm so happy I'm immortal too lol.” His face suddenly turned serious and Shiro could now take in to perspective on where Adam was located. “But honey, I couldn't stand being away from you, so I kinda totally stole one of the Garrison's ship and I'm coming to you right now because I love you and I'm immortal anyways so Space don't got shit on me.”

Shiro's face got more excited, “Sweet! You'll have to meet my team when you get here! How far away are you?”

“I'm already here.”

 _Suddenly_ , because everything is sudden in this universe and it's my favorite word, the castle shook with a large fright as something crashed into the wall next to Shiro and Keith. “SUP SLUTS!” a voice screamed out.

They gasp as they see Adam had crashed his ship into theirs. He jumped out and at breakneck speeds, went and sprinted at Shiro and full on tackle dived him on to the floor. Because of this entire predicament, Lance came out from hiding.

“The love of my life!! My sweetest angel!!” Shiro gasped as he took Adam's face in his hands and started peppering kisses everywhere he could, causing them both to laugh.

Lance and Keith smiled at the two lovebirds that they didn't notice their friends had come to investigate now. “What the fuck y'all?” Allura placed her hands on her hips.

Coran gasped, “OH NO, AN ATTRACTIVE YOUNG FELLOW IS ATTACKING SHIRO ON THE FACE WITH HIS MOUTH! :O”

Pidge snorted, “Lol, he's cool, he's just gay.”

Coran blushed sheepishly, “fuck damn you're right, how was I so blind?” Then he took a pause, “fuck I was supposed to say that quizzy-shit right, fuck.”

Everyone ignored him and smiled at the two kissing dumb gays as they declare their love for one another so much that it gives you cavities. Lance decides to break the silence, “Any gay…… Hey Keith, do you want to do that too? Cuz I'm totally down for it.” And he dabs.

It was like the breath was ripped out of Keith's chest as he saw Lance dab because that meant they were solemates because that's the law. They stared into each other's eyes for a solid moment before grabbing each other's faces and smashing it together, accidentally giving both a legit noseblood from the headbutting, but they were gay so they would heal up in 5 minutes because it's by law that they can't be injured for more that 2 minutes of screen time since they are on the gay ass community.

So now there were two sets of gays making out in front of everyone. But they didn't seem to mind ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Romelle walks in with sunglasses riding the cow that Lance has now and states, “Sup bitches, I'm not sure who I am really because God hasn't watched this far but they know I exist for some reason. God literally had to Google me because they were confused on if they remade Allura or some shit idk. To God, I have no personality set so writing in character would be literally impossible, so they're taking shit into their own hands and making me a funky fresh lesbian, fuck yeah. Also I have a cow.”

Pidge and Allura instantly get drawn into Romelle's charm and swoon. She looks at both of them, “Howdy little ladies, wanna start a polyamorus lesbian relationship mostly because I'm cute ass fuck and God would date me if they could solely on the pictures the found on Google of me? I don't know if I really do or anything about my own upbringing/backstory but fuck it, I own a planet now and I'm a empress there so I'll treat you both like queens there.”

Pidge and Allura looked at each other and whispered, “Fuck yeah.” At once and both hopped onto the cow who has a name but the author is too lazy to use Google. Then that cow walked away with all three of those bomb ass lesbians, but you'll be able to watch them on the Gay Channel 666, at 9 EST as they have started their own spinoff show which there's no actions, it's just them being domestic as fuck because god this show is a wreck.

Hunk looked towards Coran, “Are we the only valid straights in this show??”

Coran snorted, “Lol big boy, I've been banging the King since I was assigned to him so I'm gay as fuck. God gave me permission to come and go as I please in the afterlife so I can be with my sugar daddy anytime I want. Lol” then he dabbed and disappeared to go meet his hubby in the ghost world for some wild times.

Hunk took a minute to appreciate that he was the only valid straight person on the ship and took a moment to realize how much he loves his friends for accepting him. Then Hunk looked to the side where the ship crashed in and furrowed his eyebrows. “....How is there a large hole in the ship but none of us are being pulled out into the deep vacum of space??”

Keith and Lance stopped sucking faces for a minute for Lance to turn to Hunk. “We can't die, if we do then the producers lose their jobs since it's illegal to kill off any gay people, and you're their token straight person so you can't die either. So by their will of power, they stopped physics for us.”

Hunk nodded his head, “Hm. Makes sense.”

Keith nodded, “Yep, now the castle can regenerate it's walls because it's the future and it's space and shit. I don't actually know what the castle can fully do but it's bullshit if a full CASTLE and turn into a spaceship and have a forcefield thing and not even fix itself when it has a problem so…” and he shrugs.

Hunk hummed in acknowledgement, “Ah, kk" and he did the a-okay sign because emojis don't work on here because they're dumb and I'm mad >:(

Then Hunk went into the kitchen, made everyone cookies and let his friends enjoy their gay ass lives, proving that he is the one true ally *sunglasses emoji inserted here because THEY DON'T SUPPORT EMOJIS OOF  ** _RIP_** *

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of work is dedicated to my lovely girlfriend who texted me at 4 AM about how she was upset with the take the show did. I have not been in the fandom for quite a bit, but I wanted to make her smile a bit so I wrote this solely for her. 
> 
> I was solely writing this to make her laugh because I love her with all my heart and want to make her happy.... wow I'm so gay and mushy. 
> 
> But in all seriousness, I hope that everyone that actually clicked on this mess of a work has a wonderful day!


End file.
